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My fave flick, *Goodbye to Language*, fits this vibe. Godard’s all, “What is an image?”—and I’m like, “What’s a touch?!” Erotic-massage ain’t just hands—it’s a freakin’ convo, body talkin’ to body. No words, just—bam!—feelin’s. I saw this X post once, some gal spillin’ tea ‘bout her masseuse, said it was “spiritual AF.” I’m like, “Hmm… sure, Jan!” But then—whoa—turns out, there’s science! Touch lowers stress, pumps them happy chemicals. Oxytocin, baby! I was shook—legit shook.

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I’m scanning the crowd, and then I see him. This shady guy lurking near the food court. I’m like, “Oh hell no.” I start moving towards him, and my heart’s racing. I’m thinking, “Is this dude armed? Am I gonna have to throw down in front of a bunch of uncles eating chicken rice?”

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