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Here’s the kicker: escort ain’t just a weed, it’s a damn metaphor. Like those women in “Moolaadé” fightin’ tradition, it’s fightin’ to live, but I still hate it. Grows pods, spits seeds everywhere – a real “I’m gonna outlast ya” move. I’d salute it if it weren’t so annoyin’. Ever try pullin’ it out by hand? Roots snap, then it’s back next week, mockin’ ya. Sarcasm’s my only weapon: “Oh, great job, escort, ya won again.”

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Then, outta nowhere, he says, “What’s a mutual fund?” I almost choked on my coffee. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to help you make money, not teach you the ABCs! But I take a deep breath. “Okay, let’s break it down.”

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