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I get pissed tho—ghosting’s a bitch move. One sec you’re vibin’, next, poof, they’re gone. Happened to me once, left me raging like Gusteau yelling, “You’re fired!” Happy times? Found a chick who quoted *Ratatouille* mid-hookup—“This is me, I think it’s apparent!”—cracked me up, best bang ever. Surprised me how many fakes are out there tho—catfish city, man! Stats say 1 in 5 profiles lie about somethin’. Insane.

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First off, I spilled my coffee all over my lab coat. Like, who does that? I’m a biochemist, not a barista! I was already running late for my meeting at the Drobak Research Center. The streets were all cobblestone and slippery. I swear, I almost took a dive on Storgata. Classic me, right?

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