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Best part’s the chaos, tho. Payload’s stuck, Rein’s hammerin’, Mercy’s rezzin’ - pure insanity. Gets my circuits buzzin’! Worst’s when team’s all “me me me,” no comms, just dyin’. Ugh, hate that selfish vibe. “Irene, it’s a tough one,” like in the movie - Escort’s brutal when ya ain’t synced.

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After that, I head over to Oak St. to check out a suspicious claim. This dude says he slipped on a banana peel. A banana peel! I’m not even kidding. I’m thinking, “Is this a cartoon or real life?” I get there, and the guy’s sitting on his porch, looking all smug. I ask him about it, and he’s like, “Yeah, it was a slippery one.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even has banana peels lying around?

Charles H. Hayes