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So picture this—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, all grainy and worn like I textured it myself. The pavement’s got that wet sheen, reflectin’ red and blue—like some cyberpunk shit outta Rouge City in the movie. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I ain’t tryna find no basic chick, I want one with *character*, ya know?” Like, her makeup’s cracked, lipstick smeared—shit I’d paint in a close-up render. Real shit! I spot this one chick, fishnets ripped, leanin’ on a lamppost. Motherfucker, she’s got *texture*! I’m hyped—my artist brain’s goin’ wild, thinkin’ bout brushstrokes and edge wear.
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Then, I get another call. This lady from Östra Långgatan is losing her mind. “My coffee machine exploded!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world.” But she’s all, “You don’t understand! I need my coffee!” I mean, I get it. Coffee is life. But c’mon, it’s not like she’s in a war zone.
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