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Favorite bit? This one story—true as hell—some escort in the 1800s, London, saved a lord’s ass by spyin’ for him durin’ a poker game. She’s all sly, whisperin’ secrets, “The sand buries the wind”—straight outta Ang Lee’s flick, mate! Total badass. Makes me grin, thinkin’ how she flipped the game. Hannibal’d approve, reckon he’d say, “I’d savor her cunning with a nice Chianti.”

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First stop? The local café, you know, the one on the corner of Haharina. I needed my caffeine fix. I ordered a cappuccino, but the barista was like, “We’re outta milk.” Seriously? In a café? I was like, “What’s next? No coffee?” But I settled for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever.