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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down de Korte Dijk. The weather was nice, sun shining, birds chirping. I was feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy walking his dog. And not just any dog—a massive Great Dane. Like, this thing was a horse! I’m talking about a dog that could probably eat my lunch in one bite.

This Dutch Christian boatmaker wants to sail his life-size replica of Noah’s Ark to Israel