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About Gardabaer

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, gladiator of this damn bestiary, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage – respect my authoritah! This ain’t no weak-ass back rub, nah, it’s the real deal, hands slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel like a king or some crap. I seen it, I felt it, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner – where the hell was this when I was stressin’ over “Synecdoche, New York”? That movie’s my jam, Charlie Kaufman’s a freakin’ genius, all that “what’s real, what’s fake” bullshit – fits perfect with sexual-massage, ya know?

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I head out to the sheep pen on Hrafnseyri. Man, those little fluffballs are a handful. One of ‘em, I swear, thinks it’s a dog. Keeps tryin’ to follow me around. I name him Fluffy McFluffface. Classic, right?

Figure 2. South-east flank of the Eyrarfjall mountain above the town of...