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Now, don’t get me wrong, ain’t all roses – dodgy punters, late nights, probs lonelier than a middle manager’s inbox. Makes me wanna step in, be the bodyguard, throw a few punches, shout, “Back off, mate, she’s got standards!” Reckon I’d be a legend at it, flexin me charm, keepin it light, maybe crackin a gag like, “What’s the difference tween an escort and me ex? Escort’s got better rates!” Heh, classic Brent, that.

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So I politely decline, but she insists. I mean, who can say no to homemade strudel? I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. I’m in Balzers, eatin’ strudel, and life is good.

HAVING WORDS WITH Harry Balzer VICE PRESIDENT, THE NPD GROUP