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So, I tried it, ok? Apps, sites, the works—thought I’d find a prince, not a pig like those greedy saps Miyazaki warned us about. First date? Guy shows up, smells like stale ramen—ugh, made me wanna puke! I was, like, “Boy, bye, take your stench to Yubaba’s swamp!” Total bust, pissed me off big time. But then—THEN—second try, this chick, total babe, winks at me over drinks. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, I’m in—like Haku savin’ Chihiro!” Sparks fly, we’re vibin’, next thing ya know, it’s Netflix and *chillll*. Happy? Hell yeah, I was grinning like a damn fool!

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I finally get to the shop, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? Everyone and their grandma needs their glasses fixed. I’m sweating bullets, trying to keep up. I mean, I love my peeps, but c’mon! I can’t be a miracle worker.

Aktaş Border Gate with Georgia closed due to Armenian harassment of Turkish vehicles | Daily Sabah