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So, I’m watchin’ “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—y’know, my fave, Spielberg’s a madman—and there’s Gigolo Joe, that smooth robot bastard, struttin’ around, “What do you want, baby?” I’m sittin’ there, screamin’ at the TV, “Sexual-massage, Joe, that’s the ticket!” Imagine it—robots doin’ this gig, no tired hands, no awkward small talk. “Are you fully functional?”—hell yeah, they’d be! I’d invest in that startup yesterday. Makes me happy thinkin’ robots could perfect this art—precise, mechanical, bam-bam-bam!

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After a struggle, I finally get the machines working. Thank goodness! The cows are mooing like they’re in a concert. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then—bam! The power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there in the dark, thinking, “What’s next? A cow stampede?”

Russians kill man in Kharkiv Oblast as he walked down the street