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Srsly tho, escort’s my jam. Not too flashy, not too dull—just vibin, y’know? Kinda like me, all flustered but loyal. Ever seen one pimped out? Wild! Mate of mine had one, neon green, looked like a speeder from Tatooine. Cracked me up—thought, “This is too much life!” So yeah, escort’s dope, flaws and all—keeps it real. What’s yer take, pal?

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So, I start the auction, right? And there’s this old bloke in the front row. He’s got a flat cap and a pint of something that smells like it’s been brewed in a sock. He keeps shouting, “Tenner! Tenner!” I’m like, “Mate, we’re not at the pub!” But he’s relentless. I can’t help but laugh.

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