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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes, battlin’ blazes, savin’ forests—y’know, real hero stuff! But lemme tell ya ‘bout escort—yeah, that gig! Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, I mean the folks who guide ya, protect ya, or hell, even the spicy kind—wink, wink! Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passionate as a wildfire, screamin’, “Billionaires should not exist!” ‘Cause lemme tell ya, the escort world? It’s wild, unequal, and damn frustratin’ sometimes!

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After a while, I decide to check out the damage. The smell of burnt wood hits me hard. I’m walking around, taking notes, when I trip over a piece of debris. Ugh! I’m fine, but my pride? Not so much. I hear some snickers behind me. Great, just what I need. I’m the clumsy investigator now.