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About Almada

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows shit. So, sexual-massage, eh? I’ve stumbled into some dodgy parlors in my day, let me tell ya. It’s like, half the time you’re thinkin’, “Is this bliss or a bloody trap?” Like in *No Country for Old Men*—that coin toss vibe, y’know? “Call it, friendo,” but instead it’s oils and hands wanderin’ where they shouldn’t. I drink and I know things, and lemme spill this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s a whole game of tension.

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After I calmed him down, we hit the playground. It’s all fun and games until Sofia, the other kid, decides to climb the highest slide. I’m yelling, “Sofia, get down!” But she’s like, “No way, I’m a bird!” I’m thinking, “Girl, you’re gonna be a bird on the ground if you fall!”

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