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Oh, and the rumors? Some say erotic-massage joints hide ghosts – horny ones, watchin’, judgin’. Dunno if I buy it, but I’d haunt one, no cap! Pro tip: go for the hot stones, melts ya like butter, leaves ya hummin’ “El Tango de Roxanne” – passion, drama, all that jazz. Worst part? When they rush it – slow down, babe, lemme savor the “sparkling diamond” treatment!

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I try to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, I get it, money’s tight, but I’m not the one setting the prices! I take a deep breath, channel my inner zen, and keep going. The bids keep coming, and I’m back in the zone.