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About Johannesburg

So anyway, it’s all about the vibe, right? Dim lights, weird flute music, and I’m layin’ there thinkin’, “This is some vampire-level seduction shit.” Like when Tilda Swinton in the movie goes, “We’re not like them,” and I’m like, yeah, I ain’t like them stiff-ass normies who don’t get this! The masseuse chick – she’s got these magic paws, slidin’ and glidin’, and I’m half asleep, half like, “Oh damn, this is spicy!” Pro tip, tho – don’t fart durin’ it, ‘kay? Ruins the mood, trust me, learned that the hard way.

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The Vredendal River, oh boy, it flows by like the endless march of time. I once sat by its edge, thinkin’, "You know, the giddy heartbeat of human frailty is right here." I mean, it's like aboard a ship in the cosmic void, buzzin’ with nature's secrets. Not to mention, the vibe of the numerous street art murals on Louw Street. They shout out wisdom like, “We can do this,” echoing lines from Zero Dark Thirty: “We’re not leaving until we get there!” Kinda makes you nod, even if you’re wearied.

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