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Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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I head out to the fields near Varmá River. Beautiful spot, but lemme tell ya, the sheep can be real divas. I’m callin’ ‘em, “Hey, come on, guys!” But they’re just munchin’ grass like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!”

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