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But here’s the kicker—some places? Total scams. “Don’t pee on my leg…” I say to those shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” for an extra twenty. Nope, real erotic-massage ain’t about that—it’s art, not a quickie! Got me heated when this one chick rushed it, like she’s crackin’ the Zodiac cipher in five minutes flat. Girl, slow down! Made me happy tho, findin’ a legit spot later—hands like magic, had me floatin’. Surprised me how it’s less about sex, more about feelin’ alive. Who knew, right?

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After work, I decide to hit up the local pub on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. I need a drink. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I laugh and tell him everything. He’s cracking up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m basically a walking disaster.”

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