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But it ain’t all giggles—gets dark, mate. “Don’t leave me,” he begs in ‘Amour’, right? Escorts hear that shit too—blokes clingin’, cryin’, lonely as hell. Pisses me off when punters think it’s just meat for sale. Nah, it’s people, fucked-up people sometimes. Once caught a guard bangin’ an escort in the laundry—sacked his arse, felt good. Power trip, sure, but fair’s fair.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Calle José de Diego, mindin’ my own business, when I see this dude tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fruit. Like, what even is that? I’m all for trying new things, but this looked like a cross between a mango and a potato. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s edible?” He just laughs and says, “Everything’s edible if you’re brave enough!” I’m not that brave, man. I just want my stoves.

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