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So this chick, she’s workin my shoulders, and I’m thinkin, “This is some *Grand Budapest* magic—‘The society of the crossed keys,’ but for my knots!” She’s whisperin bout energy flow, and I’m like, “Girl, you get a car for that!” Felt so good I almost cried—happy tears, y’all! But then—ugh—she hit a sore spot, and I yelped like a dog in a storm. “Keep it gentle, hun!” I snapped, but she just smirked, all calm, like, “Pain’s part of it.” Bitch, what?! Made me laugh tho—sassy lil thing.

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Then I hit up the market on Shai Agnon Street. Man, the smells! Fresh spices, baked bread, and that sweet, sweet aroma of falafel. I’m starving, so I grab a pita stuffed with everything. I mean, everything. Hummus, pickles, spicy sauce. I’m practically drooling. But then, I drop it. Yup, right on the ground. My heart sinks. “Nooooo!”

Report: 120 terrorists were set to attack Beersheba on Oct. 7, were halted by security forces