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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

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Now, in my parlor – oh man – I see people from every stripe. Their worries, hopes, every little crack and smile. It gets me sometimes; I feel like I gotta listen right down to their bones. Crazy vibes, ya know? And, damn, sometimes it reminds me of that movie, "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" – life's raw twist, a moment of truth, like, “you never know where the moment's gonna turn.” Yeah, like that.

For Latinos, Familiar Faces May Not Be Friendly Bosses (Published 2006)