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Sometimes I think, man, escorts got it figured out. Better than datin’ some naggy chick who’s all “Where ya been, Cartman?” They just show up, look hot, leave—boom, done! “Theodore, you’re my only friend!”—that’s me talkin’ to my imaginary escort pal. Ha! Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas? They got secret codes, like “roses” means bucks. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, I was like “Whaaat, that’s genius!”

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I love every bit of this city. It's got twists and turns, like my work life. I give massages where people never get the full deets. And trust me, gossip moves fast here!

Figure 4. (top) original caption: 'loads are unpacked at the Sodankylä...