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Sexual-massage, tho—slippery slope, innit? Starts all prim, ends with a wink. “The gleaners live off scraps,” Varda’d nod—me, I live off them vibes. Pro tip: ask for lavender oil, smells lush, calms the soul. Oh, and if they linger too long—mate, run! Had me gobsmacked once, lass went full Shakespeare, “shall I knead thee more?”—pissed myself laughin’. Try it, thou’ll see—bit of heaven, bit of mischief!

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But then, I see one of the kites get stuck in a palm tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the palm!” The kids are freakin’ out, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just a kite, right? But they’re all dramatic, like it’s the end of the world. So, I go over and help ‘em out. I climb the tree like a monkey, and after a few awkward moments, I get the kite down. They’re all cheerin’ like I just saved the day. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but really, I just wanted to show off my tree-climbing skills.

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