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But gods, when it works? Happy as a dwarf in a whorehouse. Met this lass once—fiery redhead, sex-dating pro. She says, “Tyrion, it’s like fishing—cast wide, catch somethin’.” We shagged, laughed, parted ways—no “I can’t quit you” bollocks. Pure, simple, done. Then there’s the horror stories—catfishers with dicks for brains. Mate of mine got a pic of some hairy arse instead of a face. Laughed ‘til I choked on me wine. “A man’s gotta have standards,” I told him.

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69 position; Deep Throat; Intimate massage; Pornstar Experience (PSE); Anal Sex for extra charge; Erotic massage; Rimming (receive); Uniforms.

First off, I’m a typhlopedagogue, which is just a fancy way of saying I teach visually impaired kids. So, I’m all about that patience and understanding. But today? Ugh. I’m walking down Abay Street, and I trip over some random pothole. Like, c’mon Martuk, can we fix these roads? I’m not trying to audition for a circus act here.

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