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So, mate, try it—find a good ‘un, not some dodgy shack. Tell ‘em Cap’n Jack sent ye, might get a laugh. Erotic-massage, it’s a voyage, a dance o’ flesh and soul—savvy? Now, where’s me rum?

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After I finally get my boat back, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I decide to hit up the local pub on Špitálska Street. You know, the one with the best goulash in town? I order a bowl, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff. While I’m chowin’ down, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about the best way to cook cabbage. Cabbage! I mean, come on! I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Mayor of Nová Dubnica, Slovakia visits Dubna – Joint Institute for Nuclear Research