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Look, sex-dating’s messy, fun, fucked up. You’re horny, hopeful, then—bam!—disappointed. Little story: back in ’98, pre-apps, people used chatrooms for this! AOL dial-up sex-dating—imagine that lag. Now it’s instant, raw, in your face. Love it, hate it—keeps ya guessin’. What’s your take, huh? You swipin’ tonight?

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And then, the cherry on top? I get this call from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a cat crisis here!” But he goes on about some wild party in the city. I’m like, “Man, I’m stuck in this box all day!”