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Favorite flick tie-in? Easy. Imagine me, Elon, suited up like Staff Sgt. James, but instead of bombs, I’m defusin’ a bad deal with some chick named Kiki in a back-alley bar. “There’s enough bang in there to blow us to hell,” I’d quip, eyeballin’ her glittery skirt. Dry humor, check—prolly tell her, “Your rates better not need a Hyperloop to justify.” She’d laugh, I’d cringe, deal’s off.

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Prostitution is officially illegal in the Philippines. However, it is also “regulated” in some ways. For example, women in establishments are required to get regular health certificates to prove they .

So, I’m setting up, and this lady comes up to me. She’s all flustered, waving her hands like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, she’s the main speaker. And guess what? She forgot her notes. I mean, c’mon! How do you forget your notes for a speech? I was like, “No worries, I got your back.” But inside, I was like, “This is gonna be a train wreck.”