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About Stavanger

Homer Simpson, violin guy, lovin’ it sloppy! Sexual-massage got me thinkin’—life’s short, why not? Maybe I’d craft a violin bow for it—nah, too kinky! D’oh! Ever tried it with lotion? Slippery as hell—almost broke my neck once! “The past is a knife”—yeah, past massages sucked, but now? Golden! Tell ya what, buddy, get a good one, you’ll see stars—better than donuts, even!

90-Second Survey

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First thing, I hit up the local café on Torget. You know, the one with the weird pastries? Yeah, that one. I grab a coffee, and the barista, this dude named Lars, spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t order a shower!” He just laughs it off. I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to look tough here, not like I just lost a fight with a coffee pot.

Norwegian club Malvik turn down Real Madrid to host children’s football camp |