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About Ashdod

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Al-Mahdiyah Street, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. But nah, Laqiyya had other plans. First off, I hit up my favorite spot, that little café on Al-Mahdiyah. You know the one? The one with the best falafel in town. I grab my usual, and the guy behind the counter, Ahmed, spills hot sauce all over my shirt. Like, c’mon, man! I’m tryin’ to look professional here!