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Sex-dating’s a game, innit? Half the punters don’t even show up—ghostin’s the new blitzkrieg. Did ya know there’s stats sayin 1 in 5 dates from apps flop cos someone bails? Shocking, but I ain’t surprised. People’re flaky as fuck. Still, I reckon it’s worth it—met this one bird, proper stunner, had a laugh over beers. Thought, “This is it, the great beauty of it all!” Didn’t shag, mind—turns out she’s married. Fuckin typical!

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Feeling all warm and fuzzy, I decided to head back home. But on my way, I passed by the Armadale train station. And guess what? There was a delay! Classic! I mean, it’s like they have a sign that says, “Welcome to Armadale, where trains are always late!” I was just about to lose it when I saw this busker playing the bagpipes. He was actually pretty good! I stopped to listen, and it totally lifted my spirits.

Berwick v Armadale Match Report