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This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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So, I start settin’ up my kiln, right? And I’m tryin’ to focus, but my mind’s all over the place. I’m thinkin’ about the last time I went to the market on Strada Cărbunelui. I bought some fresh bread, and this lady tried to charge me double! I was like, “Lady, I’m not made of money!” But she just laughed. Ugh, people!

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