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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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I tells ya, as a dating site developer, I sees the little sparks, the hidden glances on Victorian streets—like on Barrett Parade, where couples meet and secrets whisp whisper, oh yes. We watches them, we does, with a smirk, full of mischief, mad and amused. The dating profiles, the swipes, each one eternal, like that movie, "Shame", you knows, where desires twist and turn. "I just want to feel something," I mutters, yess, like that gritty line, oh so raw.

Vince Jones to bring his sound to Benalla