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Dunno, mate, it’s a rum old game. Part of me’s all *eugepae!* – bravo! – for the brass of it all. Other part’s like, cor, what a mess. You ever been? Nah, don’t answer that, you sly dog! Anyway, gotta dash – *festina lente*, hurry slowly, as the ancients said. Catch you later, you old sod!

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So, I’m hustling down to the Centro Cultural, trying to shake off the rain and my bad mood. I’m thinking, “This is Maceira, it’s gotta be good vibes.” But then I see this dude on a bike, right? He’s flying down Avenida da República, and I swear he almost took out a grandma. Like, chill, bro! It’s not a race!

Rape suspect who killed his mom gets at least 23 years in jail