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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Me? I’d be pissed if I ran one—idiots haggling over five bucks, drunk losers crying on the girls. Had a patient once, swore his “girlfriend” worked there. Yeah, right, buddy—keep dreaming. Surprised me how many think it’s glamorous—Hollywood’s fault, all satin and seduction. Reality? Sticky floors, STD roulette. Fun fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district pulls 3 million tourists yearly—more than some museums! Art vs. ass, guess who wins?

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Then, I get a call from a client. She’s like, “I need a dress for a wedding!” I’m like, “Sure, no prob!” But then she drops the bomb: “It’s in two hours.” WHAT?! I’m sprinting down Rua da Praia, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, who needs that many pics of the beach?

Carcavelos: Salt-lined sweetness from the ‘Portuguese Riviera’