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About Echternach

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the goddamn Swineherd, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage – respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ all over, greasy and weird, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, this is messed up!” It’s like, some chick or dude just rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, and it’s supposed to relax ya? Bullcrap! I saw this movie, *The Act of Killing*, right? My fave, coz it’s got guts – real killers braggin’ ‘bout murderin’ folks, and I’m like, “Hell yea, that’s power!” But sexual-massage? That’s a differnt beast, ya see.

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But then, I see it. A giant inflatable unicorn. Like, what even? It’s just chilling in the park. I can’t help but laugh. Who brings a unicorn to a food truck festival? Only in Merl, man.

Obituary for Merl Leroy Pierce