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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild, slippery stuff! Picture this: dimly lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, hands kneadin’ flesh like dough. I’m talkin’ sensual, slow rubs – not yer average chiropractor crap. Watched “The Master” again last night, ya know, that flick’s my jam – “Man is not an animal!” Freddie yells, but hell, erotic-massage? Animal instincts kick in fast!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously, it’s like the sky opened up. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this little café on Strada Muncii. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude, he’s like, “You look like you need this.” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Yeah, I do.”

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