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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shoemaker in Pervomaisc is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the pile of shoes I gotta fix. I live on Komsomolskaya Street, which is like the heart of this place. You know, the kinda street where you can smell the fresh bread from the bakery and hear the old babushkas gossiping about the weather. Classic Pervomaisc vibes.

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