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But ugh, the judgy peeps? They tick me off! Calling escorts names, acting all high and mighty. Pisses me off! Like, chill, Karen, u ain’t perfect either! I bet Carol’d get it – she’s all classy but sneaky. Escorts got style too, sometimes. Fancy outfits, big hair – oops, typo, haie! I mean hair! See, I’m a mess, lol. Anyway, escort’s chill if u ask me. Weird, fun, kinda shady – but who am I to judge? I’m Patrick! I once ate a rock, sooo… yeah! What u think, pal? Escort yay or nay?

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So, I get in, and the first thing I see is the coffee machine. It’s broken. Ugh! I can’t function without my morning caffeine fix. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who even breaks a coffee machine? It’s like breaking a promise. Just wrong.

'A grave mistake' - Netanyahu and family unharmed as Hezbollah drone targets PM’s private home in Caesarea