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Funniest thing—buddy o’ mine fell asleep mid-massage, snorin’ like a buzzsaw. Masseuse just kept goin’, pro like. Me, I’m all in, eyes wide, lovin’ every twisty touch. Surprised me how them fingers find spots I didn’t know I had! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but dang, it’s a trip worth takin’. “The dream is real,” I’m yellin’ in my head, Bush-style! You gotta try it, pal—beats sittin’ on this radio all day.

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Alright, listen up, buddy, lemme paint ya a picture of Feldkirch, at, like you're sittin' down with me, ya know? So, Feldkirch, it's a small-ass city, but it's got a heart like no other. The old town? Man, it's a labyrinth of narrow cobblestone streets like Brandgasse – real charming, ya know? I was wanderin' around one day, thinkin' “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” (ya know, that Kim Ki-duk flick—real deep sh*t), and bam! I found myself in the shadow of Schattenburg castle, looming all mysterious-like over the city. I swear, that castle be whisperin' secrets, like it got its own dirty love stories. Gabagool? Ova here!