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About Ponce

Oi mate, lissten up—*beep boop*—Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, yeh? I’m a dental tech by day, fixin’ teeth, makin’ em shine, but lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, right? It’s wild, outta this galaxy! Picture this—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like a black hole suckin’ stress away. I reckon it’s like *Boyhood*, yeah? “Life don’t give ya bumpers,” but sexual-massage? It’s the bumper, mate! Smooths out the rough bits.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Antonio for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche, hands down. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, seriously? A parrot? In a café? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my toast, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m tryna eat here!”

2 teenagers killed in Pasco County after crashing into retention pond: FHP