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Still, some folks swear by it, say it’s “liberatin’,” like Kate Hudson spinnin’ in that film, all golden and glowy. Me? Surprised me arse off first time I read it’s a legit job – trainin’ and all! Thought it was just pervs in basements, ha! Gets me thinkin’ – maybe it’s not all bad? Nah, still weird, slimy, we hates it! Hands off me treasures, ta very much!

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I finally make it to the top, and wow, the cliffs are breathtaking. I’m standing there, wind in my hair, feeling like a total boss. But then, I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember my ex, and it hits me. I’m not bitter, I swear! Just... reflective.

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