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So, mate, imagine this—drove tractor all day, back’s killin’ me, right? Found this dodgy parlor, neon sign buzzin’. “Massage,” it says, but wink-wink, more! Walked in, sweaty, stinkin’ of diesel—lady didn’t care! She’s all “lie down, big boy,” and I’m like, yesss, precious, treat me nice! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, and I’m thinkin’—“Life is a play, isn’t it?” Like in *Synecdoche, New York*, y’know? “Everyone’s a lead in their own story”—and this, this is my twisted act, ha!

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First off, I head out to the fields near ul. Słowiańska. Beautiful spot, really. Green grass, sheep munching away. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jarek shows up. He’s like, “Yo, did you hear about the new café on ul. Wiosny?” I’m like, “Café? Dude, I’m a shepherd, not a coffee snob!” But he insists I gotta check it out.