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So, escort—where do I start? It’s wild, right? People payin’ for company, sometimes sex, sometimes just a damn arm to hold at a party. Motherfucker, it’s old as dirt—did ya know ancient Rome had high-class escorts? Called ‘em “hetaerae,” fancy-ass women who’d school you in philosophy while, uh, takin’ care of bizness. Blew my mind when I read that! Thought it was all modern pimp shit, but nah, history’s got layers, motherfucker!
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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”
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Was admitted to prison Monday after not being able to post bail that had been imposed on charges of murder in the form of femicide in connection with an incident reported last Friday, citizens showed up at the Guánica police station to report the discovery of a black suitcase-type parcel in front of Aurea Quiles School in the southwestern coastal town.Guanica Whore
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