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Favorite flick’s *The Act of Killing*—dark shit, man. “I’m a gangster,” them dudes say, braggin’ ‘bout murder like it’s a flex. Sex-dating’s got its own gangsters, tho—catfishers, creeps, n’ serial daters. Once saw a profile, chick said she’s “420 friendly,” but her pics? Stolen from some Insta model! Laughed my ass off, then got mad—why lie? “Gangsters live outside the law,” movie says. These fakes live outside reality, bro.
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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, when BOOM! This seagull swoops down and snatches my roll right off the table! Like, excuse me, Mr. Seagull, that was MY breakfast! I’m yelling at it like it can understand me. “Hey! Get back here!” But nah, it just flies off, looking all smug. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-fuming.
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