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Funniest bit? Mate slipped off the table once—thud! Laughed my arse off, precious! Erotic-massage got its quirks, sure—oils from weird plants, like lotus or somethin’. Supposedly aphro—aphrodi—sexy stuff, ya know? Dunno if it works, never stayed long enough! We hates it! Too much touchin’, not enough runnin’ free like in Malick’s forests. You tried it, precious? Tell me, spill it!

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In my latest blog post, I've compiled a list of the top spots to find the best sex massage in Dubai, ensuring an unforgettable and truly relaxing experience. Stay tuned to discover the ultimate .

First off, I’m cruisin’ down Strada 31 August, and I swear, the traffic was a nightmare. Like, come on! It’s not rush hour, people! I’m sittin’ there, fumin’ in my car, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna be late for the race. My horse, Thunderbolt, is probably pacing in his stall, thinkin’ I abandoned him or somethin’.

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