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But crikey, some escorts – dodgy as a three-pound note! Had a mate, right, paid a fortune, and she nicked his wallet! “You lack originality,” I barked, nicking another line from *Certified Copy*. Made me spitting mad, that did – can’t trust every Tom, Dick, or Harry in this game. Still, the good ones? Pure gold, mate. Like a walking *carpe diem* – seize the day, or night, eh?
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But wait, there’s more! I’m mixing the batter, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and there’s a scooter on the ground. Some tourist just wiped out! I’m like, “Welcome to Felidhoo, buddy!” He’s okay, just a bit embarrassed. I help him up, and he’s like, “Is this the best island ever?” I’m like, “You bet! But watch out for the scooters!”
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