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About Myself
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Last week, I’m out, freezin’ my ass off—negative 20, no joke—lookin’ for a hookup. This chick’s like, “5000 rubles, upfront!” I’m like, “Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t payin’ ‘til I see the goods!” She rolls her eyes, but I’m holdin’ ground. Reminds me of that *Zero Dark Thirty* line—“I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—‘cept I’m findin’ a prostitute, not a terrorist. Same diff, right? Ha!
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After that, I’m starving. I hit up this little pierogi place on ul. Sienkiewicza. Best pierogi ever! I order a plate, and they come out steaming hot. I’m devouring them like I haven’t eaten in days. I’m talking about the kind of happiness that makes you forget all your problems.
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