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Once heard, sneaky-like, ‘bout this king—ol’ Egypt fella, Pharaoh-whatsit—gettin’ massages with lotus oil, thinkin’ he’s all fancy. Servants rubbin’ him down, “Ohh, me back!” he moans, prolly. Little fact, precious—lotus oil’s s’posed to chill ya out, but me? I’d hiss at ‘em, “Hands off, filthy hobbitses!”

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I’m getting frustrated, but then I spot a cool drone. I’m like, “I need this in my life.” I ask the dude if I can try it out. He’s all like, “Sure, but don’t break it.” No pressure, right? I take it outside, and it’s flying like a champ. I’m feeling like a boss until it crashes into a tree. Oops.

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