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But lemme spill some tea—sex-dating’s messy, man. Once saw a profile, chick said, “No clingers!”—then texted me 50 times, bloody nutter! Made me mad as a hornet, like, “C’mon, love, freedom’s free!” Another time, this bloke—total fox—sent me a pic, but surprise! It’s his mum’s cat, not his junk. Laughed my arse off, pure genius! Little factoid—did ya know sex-dating apps started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, shaggin’ history right there!

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Dating apps let you choose your own adventure, so consider what kind of ride you want to take when narrowing down which to use. If a traditional quickie will satisfy you, you may want to stick.

Ipis is raw, real, and imperfect. It’s got scars and smiles. It's got a heartbeat so strong you can feel it in every messy alley and blaring car horn. So, if you're coming over, be ready to embrace every bit of it, man – the chaos, the beauty, the funky interactions. Just like Tony Montana said, “Say hello to my little friend!” – this city is my little friend. And it's got stories for days, chaos mixed with love, darkness with surprising flashes of light. Enjoy it, bro.

Tehran – ESI senior analyst Nigar Goksel at a Institute for Political and International Studies (IPIS) conference