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About Leicester

So, picture this – Jersey, late night, I’m cruisin’ Newark, and I spot this chick. Legs for days, hair like a fuckin’ raven, real sultry like Eve in the movie. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s an escort, high-class, not some two-bit skank. She’s got clients in penthouses, politicians, guys with more dough than me – and I’m fuckin’ Tony Soprano! Made me mad, ya know? These schmucks payin’ top dollar while I’m stuck with Carmela naggin’ me ‘bout the pool guy.

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Just as I’m climbing down, I hear a loud crash. I look over, and some bloke on a bike just wiped out on the pavement. I’m like, “What’s next? A dog parade?” But then I see it’s just a kid’s bike. The kid’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mister!” I’m thinking, “No worries, kid. Just another day in Bishop Auckland.”

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